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Notification to all staff regarding language:
Due to the politically correct movement, employees of this store must change the language
they use in the presence of customers. The following is a translation list for employee reference:
No fucking way - I’m fairly sure that’s not feasible
You’re fucking kidding - Really?
Who the fuck are you - Hi, we haven’t met..
Tell someone who gives a fuck - Have you run that by..
No cunt told me - I wasn’t involved in that project
You don’t know shit - You seem perplexed
What the fuck do you want? - Hello, may I help you?
She’s a ball-busting bitch - She’s assertive
This place is fucked - We’re a bit disorganised today
Stick it up your arse - No thanks
You’re a fucking wanka - You are my supervisor and I respect you
You fat fucking loser - Gee, that was unfortunate
I don’t give a shit - I’ll certainly think it over
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