40-ish....................49
Adventurer................Slept with all your friends
Athletic..................No tits
Average looking.......... Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful.................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure....... Medicated
Feminist..................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit...............Junkie
Friendship first..........Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.......................Annoying
Gentle....................Comatose
Good Listener.............Borderline Autistic
New-Age...................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned.............Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded...............Desperate
Outgoing..................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Poet......................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..............Certified Bitch
Redhead...................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque...............Grossly Fat
Romantic..................Looks better by candle light
Social....................Been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
Voluptuous................Very Fat
Wants Soulmate............Stalker
Widow.....................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart............Old bat