Following the Last Trump Mother Teresa, Lady Di and Tony Blair arise and head for heaven. All three of them are standing outside the pearly gates and are met by St Peter who says "Aah yes I was expecting you three, go along that corridor there your rooms are marked with your names’.

Mother Teresa’s room is first and she goes in to find a smelly excrement filled room with a disgustingly dirty bed, lying on the bed is the ugliest man in creation fat, flatulent, bald, no teeth etc. The door slams behind Mother Teresa and the voice of God comes over the intercom ’Mother Teresa you led a life of debauchery and sin your penance is to make love to this man for all eternity’.

’Fuck me" thought the other two.

Lady Di’s room was next it was even more gross than the last and the hideously ugly man laying leering on the bed was even uglier than the last. Again the door slams behind Di and the voice of God booms out "Dianna you led a disgusting, debauched and unholy life on earth. Your penance is to make love to this man for all eternity"

Jesus fucking christ thought Tony Blair.

He walks to his room and with trepidation steps in... soft lighting shows a beautiful room, champagne chilling by the bed, and Claudia Schiffer stretched out stark naked on the silk sheets. The door slams behind Tony and the voice of God once more booms out.

’CLAUDIA SCHIFFER! YOU LED A DISGUSTING,DEBAUCHED AND UNHOLY LIFE ON EARTH.................